Thankful

Honestly there are so many things I am so thankful for. I went home for thanksgiving and seeing my wonderful family and a catching up with a couple old friends has made me realize that I should be so grateful for my roots and that I'll never forget where I came from. Going home was also a bit of a challenge in a lot of ways. First off realizing a lot of my old friends really didn't care to see me was extremely hard to deal with but I have realized that people change and grow apart and that I will be alright because I have so many people in my life who love and support me and I don't really need people who don't have a desire to be apart of my life. It was also difficult seeing my sister and how much she is growing (she's pregnant) and realizing how much I am missing by not being there. But I know she is going to be a wonderful mom and I will get to see her again in just three weeks! I also got to catch up with my youth group and youth group leader who all had such a wonderful impact on my life and the person who'm I've become today. I have learned that I really am growing as a person and learning more and more about myself and who I want to become every day. Growth is uncomfortable because you've never been there before, you've never seen this version of yourself, and that's okay. I truly hope that people that I have hurt in my past can learn to forgive me for anything I might have done to hurt them because I have forgiven myself. Learning to extend grace to myself has been one of the bigger obstacles in my life because I have a difficult time forgiving anyone; including myself. This is the part of my life where I am learning to remove myself from anyone who hurts me more than loves me, drains me more than replenishes me and brings me more stress than they do peace. I am learning to love myself more, listen better, speak less, and understand more. I am letting go of everything I didn't do right, and all the negative things people have said and I am focusing on all I am becoming. I am the daughter of the King and I will focus on that. I hope everyone can learn to move past the hurt and pain of other people and focus on bettering themselves for not only their benefit but for the benefit of everyone they will encounter. Love spreads love and pain spreads pain. Just remember the impact you have on the people around you is a direct reflection of how you feel about yourself and what you are going through.