Kilimanjaro!

I am a 5. This week has been extremely interesting because I have learned so much about myself and the people around me. We took an enneagram test and I learned that I am a type 5. This means my brain has an incredible ability to consume information, however this doesn't always mean I'm the smartest kid. I learned that people develop into different ways of thinking and survive differently because of the brokenness in their families. For instance as a child, 5's often report that they feel unsafe in their families and often isolate themselves from their families. I had never related to something more about my childhood. Safety has always been an interesting topic for me because for some odd reason, growing up I never felt incredibly secure or safe. This is nothing against my wonderful mom, but I think learning to adapt to that anxiety and fear made me into the person I am today. Fives are often very difficult to get to know because they build up walls of information and intellect and don't let anyone past it. They often don't recognize their habits of being rather cold and unemotional will end up hurting them in the long run. I truly hope this year I can learn to let God be in control of my life and allow him to build me up through my brokenness. I know that I have the tendency to isolate myself and then struggle with loneliness because of that and I hope this year I can learn to love people and allow myself to let people in and not feel alone all the time. I recognize that I should have let more people who are close to me into my little bubble of thoughts and been more open to feeling emotions, but I can only grow from here and learn to move on from that and become the best version of myself. I had a meeting with one of our teachers this week about my type on the enneagram test and it was truly mind boggling. I felt like she saw right through me and honestly it was kind of terrifying, but at the same time it was wonderful to finally put the pieces together and learn why I do some of the things I do. Seeing all the different ways people have learned to adapt to their brokenness has been really cool for me to see and learn about considering I am a hoard of knowledge (LOL). Another funny thing that has happened in the house this week is everyone is beginning to realize that I don't catch sarcasm and I learned that it's because I am not a very emotional person so I have a hard time catching that type of humor. But I am learning and everyone here is quite determined to make me understand it and also start using it. If anyone reading this wants to know more about themselves I highly recommend taking the 9types test! It has already helped me so much on this journey and I know it will be an incredible tool for me to use this year. I hope everyone reading this has a wonderful week! peace out!